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WALKING WITH MY INNER CHILD

Updated: Mar 6, 2023

My dreams have been crazy for months... lots of them... super vivid... multiple in a night... remembering them enough to write down the next day. So I started some dream analysis...


My first session was a 1:1. The teacher said it sounded like my subconscious was trying to communicate something. She asked which dream I wanted to work with and I chose one that was so memorable I felt like I could climb back into it.


I talked her through it... although its never that easy to do that is it? Because bits skip... people are suddenly other people... dreams just don't make sense. Anyway I did my best with the notes in my journal and then she started asking questions... it felt like we dropped in fast. And we were soon unearthing emotions and tears. The session wasn't long but it felt we covered a lot. She set homework... to journal with some of the people in my dream...


I didn't do it... the homework... too scared of what it might reveal!


But I did return a month or so later to a group session. For whatever reason, no one else arrived and so the group session became a 1:1 again. I confessed to not doing my homework (not like me to not dive into 'the work') and after some encouragement to do... we went through the process again with another dream.


Again difficult feelings, tears and like we'd dropped into the depths of it really quickly. And again the homework...


In this dream there was a child, I wasn't sure of her age, or if she was me... My homework task was to journal with her but also, if I felt able, to invite her into my life, to see her in an everyday setting.


So I took her on a walk. She and I visited the Goddess tree and danced with her... I saw her splashing through a steam... felt her holding my hand. She was super curious and her curiosity sparked mine and we went right up close to study things... rocks, plants, lichen...


I got the sense she was holding something heavy (maybe it was me! Is what just popped into my head now!). I offered to share the holding with her. We picked up a rock and held it in our hands between us. We didn't talk about it. Felt the holding... and the holding of the stone... the earth.


And then we came to some thistles gone to seed, the seeds blowing on the wind and we threw down the stone instead picking the seeds to throw to the wind. We delighted at them dancing on the breeze. In 'throwing it all to the wind' a new lightness came.


It was such a gorgeous experience! Her energy was so infectious... playful, curious, fun, easy, light. And it did feel like she was me... a younger me... my inner child. It feels I can still access her energy when I think about it.


Imagination... creating reality!


It was strange to me (and perhaps more so to you reading!) having this waking, walking vision... which felt more akin to something I might experience in meditation. But it felt so real. And each time I drifted, I did what I would in meditation... returning to awareness... returning to awareness of her... inviting her in again.


I know she's there and I can invite her in at any time... I feel there's so much to experience, to feel and to learn from doing so that I'm making it a practice...


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