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Updated: Mar 7, 2023

I had a Havening Techniques session a couple of weeks ago. A peer (I went through the certification process with) and I, co-Haven once a month on zoom, alternating between therapist and client.

This month it was my turn to be the client and I took the issue of a challenging relationship (aren't most of our difficulties in life around challenging relationships? Or is that just me?).

I took a particular aspect... something that the other person (in the relationship) keeps saying which seems to be triggering a lot of anger in me! On the surface it didn't seem like a massive thing and I'm sure it didn't seem to warrant the levels of anger I was experiencing... but experiencing it I was!

We used Havening touch (self applied... obviously as we were on zoom... on the face, arms and palms) as I briefly talked through the issue, connecting with my anger and the wider impact it was having on the relationship and explored the extent of disturbance it was causing me (I scored it 10/10).

We then used a technique called Event Havening where we focused on the triggering event, but distracted the brain, whilst doing the Havening touch. It seems a strange thing to do... to be distracted from talking about the issue, instead talking about totally unrelated things as we work on the issue... but by not needing to go into all the details of the triggering or traumatising event, we reduce the likelihood of retraumatising AND its not necessary to unpick the event in detail anyway, as the Havening touch is doing the work.

Its even possible to work on an event content free, i.e. without sharing any details with the therapist!

During the session, over a few 'rounds', my score came down from a 10, eventually coming right down to a 0 and I realised I felt much more confident about having a conversation with the person without being triggered.

But what also came out in the process was a clearing of something deeper around truth and being believed. I've still no idea what it is, but it feels like Havening got to the root of what was REALLY being triggered, rather than the surface situation which was triggering that, and although it didn't bring conscious awareness of that earlier event, my sense is it did bring healing.

I feel totally different about the relationship. I am calmer, not angry any more when I think about the situation that was triggering me and I was then able to have a conversation with the person without being activated. There was literally no charge at all!

And that's why I think Havening is magic!

What do you reckon? Does it sound magic?

Its actually not... and is explained by neuroscience... The touch slows the brainwaves right down to what are known as delta brainwaves which then generate electro chemical processes, reducing the stress chemicals and increasing the 'happy' chemicals in the brain which in turn support a process called synaptic depotentiation... a process which can delink emotion from triggering and traumatic events.

You can find out more at

Or if you find yourself wondering whether Havening Techniques can help you with - a difficult relationship - a potentially triggering conversation or situation you have coming up - residual anger you're holding - an ongoing situation where the situation doesn't seem to warrant the extremity of your reaction

... connect to arrange a short discovery session to see if we might be able to work together...

♡ Jo

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